In preparing for this blog, I've noticed a quickly-forming habit: the collection--nay, hoarding--of drafts for posts. Some of these are fragmentary, and others fall under a category I'm constructing in my head, denoting a piece of writing that has the structural components of a blog post, but is (I'm certain) dreadfully inadequate, and will probably need to be rewritten entirely.
The funny thing about this is that it's the second category that feels further from completion than the first. I've written something that has the general appearance of what it needs to be--and therefore it is not to be trusted. That kind of outward readiness could only conceal a deep inner instability, ready to undermine any possible merit the post might have had in theory . Ah, theory, that land where potential seems already realized, and its illusory perfection (in the etymological sense) dooms any product of this theory in reality to a secondary status. Any actual product becomes an allusion to the idea from which it sprung, but the allusion is too obtuse: only the author understands the reference.
So, I have my stash of posts in various stages of completion, and yet I have, until now, been growing (if only I'd noticed it) only progressively paralyzed as my collection grows. In fact, I was only adding to my future task list. It had gone from being only a matter of writing and editing a post to finishing multiple posts with a mind to consistency in tone, and then ordering them in a way that would suggest some kind of progression, a logic, but a natural one. The worst thing, after all, would be to appear as if I were staging the process of my thoughts.
But I'm forcing an end here. This project of post-hoarding was always ill-conceived, and so I've made up my mind to confess to the folly, and therefore disallow myself from continuing to hoard my invisible blog. So here it is: the blog-thing. And I'm calling it that not because I have identified and can point to its thingness, but exactly because I can't. So I say this in hope of later, perhaps, getting at some notion of what it means: here is my blog-thing. Thank you for reading.